On New Year’s Eve, most years, I create some sort of social media post to celebrate all that’s been accomplished this year, all of my favorite memories, etc. This normally takes the form of an Instagram story of pics from the year set to music or a deep FB post paired with images of the moments that I want to remember.
Well, as we all know, this year has been very different from most years. Frankly, it doesn’t feel appropriate to take a look back at this year in that way. I feel fortunate that I did get to make many memories this year, and some were with friends (both virtual and safely in-person.) What I notice more than anything as I look back on this year is that, somehow, the moments that I got to share and the memories that I did get to make seem just a little bit sweeter. Those moments seem to mean just a little bit more, and feel a little bit more important. I think I’m just a little bit more grateful for those moments this year. By no means was what happened this year good, but I do think that being forced to sit with ourselves (for good or for bad) allowed us the time to reflect, to ponder, sometimes to ruminate, to stress, and, yes, even to dream. Our time in isolation has made us just a little bit more aware of the things that we so often take for granted. It is my hope that as we (eventually) come out of social distancing, we continue to practice a bit more gratitude and grace.
For me, the total availability of time in isolation has been just what I needed to get the old noggin in check. By no means am I in a perfect place. However, in the time that I’ve had alone has been spent learning, consuming media, thinking, and reflecting. I’d love to share a few anecdotes with you and a couple of lessons I have learned over this year. Now, I’m not calling these resolutions. These aren’t lessons that I want to carry with me for the month of January or just for the year 2021. These are being written in the book of my life. My hope is that I continue to carry these with me from here on out.
Now, if you will indulge me for just a bit of time, here are a few things I’ve learned this year:
It’s okay to take time to become re-inspired. Being a creative person, I have the problematic habit of revving up the engine without ever stopping to get gas. This year has given me the chance to watch more movies, TV and listen to more music than any point in my life prior to high school. Inspiration is not a want, it’s a necessity for the creative soul. Look for inspiration, it will strike you when you least expect it.
To quote Hamilton, be “non-stop” about the ideas that excite you! Keep thinking about them, keep dreaming about them. No amount of time spent on something you believe in is a waste. Even if you’re afraid, create anyway!
You just wanting to do something is reason enough to do anything that you want to do. Don’t feel like you have to do that thing that everyone else is raving about if it doesn’t interest you. It might just be me, but I unnecessarily raise the stakes for everything. It may sound silly but sometimes I feel like I can’t watch what I want to on Netflix or Disney+ because I feel like I “need” to be watching that thing that everyone else is watching. Stop that! Consume the things that intrigue you. Do the things that bring you joy.
In reading Alex Trebek’s book, he says that life should be like a warm bath. Life is not moments of hot and cold, dipping your toe under the faucet and then taking it out. In other words, life is not just a highlight reel of your biggest achievements, every moment in life comes together to form the “warm bath” of your life.
I’ve learned that my time is valuable and precious. Remember, you have the power to choose how you invest your time. Invest and spend your time how you need to. If it’s sleeping in that one morning, it’s sleeping in. If you need to be by yourself and spend time alone, do that. If you need to be with other people, spend that time with your people. Don’t let anyone waste your time or tell you how you should be spending it.
In quarantine, I’ve spent a lot of time reading memoirs. What I’ve noticed is that no one’s journey is the same. Let me repeat that for everyone - NO ONE’S JOURNEY IS THE SAME. Your timeline will move exactly as it needs to. There are no norms when it comes to what you should be doing by a certain age or certain point in your life. Society may try to tell you otherwise. These are antiquated traditions. Let go of them. You are exactly where you need to be. Move forward, stay present. No need to whiteknuckle the steering wheel - enjoy the trip! (Also, shoutout to my book club peeps for solidifying this lesson for me!)
Don’t ever feel like you need to distill yourself. My entire life, I’ve tried to boil down who I am as a person. A few examples: Am I a director, a lighting designer, a stage manager, or an arts administrator? Am I a Disney guy or a Broadway guy? Am I a wine guy or a coffee guy? What I’ve realized this year is: I am Tyler. I am a complex, multifaceted human being. We’re all complex human beings. This year I’ve thrown away all those labels! All of these things make us who we are. Embrace the “everything-ness” of who you are.
Don’t let your fear of what anyone thinks of you control the way that you view yourself. Be unabashedly, unapologetically you. If you have to change a single quirk to become more palatable for anyone, it may be time to think about who you have in your life and whether they serve you anymore.
This year has taught me who is by my side. Between friends and family, man, am I a lucky dude! Find the people that make your heart sing, who make you laugh, who will dance with you in the middle of a kitchen, who are real with you, who will go tent camping with you, who answer your deep texts, who will geek out with you, who will dream with you, and who are there for you no matter how many miles away from them you are. Be there for your people. Remember that they are humans living this life too. Just find your people and never let them go.
Love abundantly and feel deeply.
Listen. Listen actively. Listen to the voices around you and raise them up. You could learn so much in this life if you spend just a little bit more time listening. Once you are done listening, join the conversation.
Alex Trebek said in his book This Answer Is…, “A good education and a kind heart will serve you well throughout your entire life.” As a lifelong learner, I take this sentiment to heart. Keep reading, learning, and expanding your worldview. Show empathy, be compassionate, and be a good citizen of this earth.
I’ve found myself crying a lot more this year. I find the older I get, the more I cry. I’m not sure why. Though, this year, I guess there’s been a lot to cry about! From cancelled shows to job loss, and of, course, loss of human life. Music, books, and film have really moved me this year. I’d like to think I’m just consuming media that I connect to...though it may be that I’m just sensitive? I’m not sure. But, I digress. Haha. There was one lyric that really worked me up earlier this summer. It’s from the brilliant musical La Cage Aux Folles by Jerry Herman and the lyric goes: The best of times is now. What's left of Summer but a faded rose? The best of times is now. As for tomorrow, Well, who knows? Who knows? Who knows? So hold this moment fast, And live and love As hard as you know how. And make this moment last Because the best of times is now, Is now, is now. Now, not some forgotten yesterday. Now, tomorrow is too far away. So hold this moment fast, And live and love As hard as you know how. And make this moment last, Because the best of times is now, Is now, is now.
Well, I’m sure that we can all agree that “the best of times” certainly are not now. Yet, for some reason, this song rang true for me in a way it never had before this year. I may have just been nostalgic but I think there was more to this. This year, we learned that our world can change in an instant. We never know what tomorrow brings. The future is totally unpredictable. However, we have learned that all we have is the present. So, we might as well live and love with all of our might, and be there for one another, so while we may not be in “the best of times” at least we can be in the “now.”
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Jam of the Moment
Instead of doing my typical "jam of the moment" at the end of this blog post, I decided to go ahead and share my Spotify Top Songs 2020. Truthfully, this has been my go to listening lately. (Short of Christmas music - which, if you want my preferences, my go to albums are any of the Pentatonix albums, A Rosie Christmas [yes...Rosie O'Donnell...it's a certified JAM], and the Radio City Christmas Spectacular cast album.)
Anyway, these are the songs I've listened to the most this year. It's a weird little mix of tunes, but even if you just poke around, I bet you'll find something you like! Enjoy!
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